Taking On Bangkok
by Ryan1441
Summary: Two years after Vegas, Ryan and the Wolfpack find themselves trapped in Bangkok along with a new member to the pack. Now it's a mad rush for the pack to find Teddy and reach Stu's wedding in time OCxOC
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome back to the Wolfpack people. Though I wish there was one I could join. Anyway, I am very surprised by how many of you want a sequel already, so if its a sequel you want, its a sequel you get!**

**Like I said before about the last story was not only its once again Ryan's POV, but also everyone elses POV (ex. Phil, Stu, Alan, etc)**

**Now then onto the – AW SHIT! NOT THE DISCLAIMERS AGAIN!**

**(sigh) I don't own The Hangover Part II. I own Ryan and Penny.**

**Chapter 1: The Calls**

**Ryan's POV**

I leaned over the rails of the hotel, upset, angry, and lost. All I could do now was pull out my cellphone, and call Tracy.  
_"Ryan?!" _She answered.

"Tracy! I'm sorry!" I told her.

"_Where the hell are you?"_

Face-palming myself, I let out the truth. "It happened again!"

"_Don't say that, please!" _She was sounding desperate... fuck.

"No this time we really fucked up."

"_Seriously! What is wrong with you four?"_

"Five actually, but so much Trace, I don't even know where to begin."

"_Oh god! How bad? Like, no wedding bad?"_

I just wish it was only no wedding bad... but no... it's worse... "Yeah... except it's much worse..."

**ONE WEEK EARLIER... 2011: Two years after Vegas.**

I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock, which was severely broken, but able to still run normally, as I rolled around in my bed, trying to get the shit music from Taylor Swift out of my head while her piece of shit music begins to play... until I grabbed my hammer and smashed the thing into pieces, shutting the damn thing off for good...didn't really care for it at all, it was a gift from someone I don't care about, and quite frankly, she's an asshole. Not only that, she set an annoying music tone to that piece of crap.

Personally, the 80's and Avenged Sevenfold are the best in the music business. Always.

I pulled out my remote to my stereo with my Ipod attached to it and turned it on, allowing my tunes to play.

**(Dokken – Breaking the Chains)**

Tired, annoyed, and angry at the world, I got out of my messy bed, (which ironically, was the only thing messy in this clean house), went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror... Wow... my eyes are so black, since I had to a lot of paperwork and homework last night, which wasn't my fault cause the damn students didn't turn it in on time! Now that they decided to turn it in late, I was forced to take it home during my important paperwork. And without much sleep, I just wanted to take my frustration's out on something...

**Sat there thinkin  
In your room  
You feel the preasure  
You're goin' crazy too  
The walls around you  
Closin' in  
You need a change**

…

...Then I saw my hair... it was still growing, to the point my dad calls it "hippy hair..." God I fucking hate those hippies. Sure it still was the look my students loved, since the girls at the university loved it, but I couldn't take it anymore..

**Claustrophobic  
Feelin' scared  
You need somebody  
But no one seems to care  
A one way ticket  
A change of pace  
You've had enough  
Can't take no more**

I pulled out my electric razor from the drawer, and started to cut into my hair, cutting it and cutting it...

….until it was nothing but a buzz cut, just like how my beard was, now going from my chin all the way up to my sideburns. So now my head and face has a really short buzz cut... which was perfectly fine by me.

...But it wasn't going to be fine for everyone at the university.

**Breaking the Chains around you  
Nobody else can bind you  
Take a good look around you  
Now you're breaking the chains**

Getting rid of my past, even my hair, felt so right... and I'm starting to like this new look.

**Got this letter  
Came today  
From my baby  
Who left me yesterday  
Said she loves me  
Shel'll come back  
She want's to try**

I stepped into the warm hot shower, water pouring onto my body, taking the last scrap of hair off my body, as I put my hands across the wall... trying to get rid of the painful memories of my breakup with Penny three months ago...

Yes, you heard that right. Me and Penny are no more.

**I won't let her  
She'll be upset  
I know it's better  
Than somethin I'll regret  
She's been dishonest  
And insincere  
I lost my mind  
Twenty times a year**

Two years ago after the Hangover in Las Vegas and reaching the wedding in time, I met Penny after she said she liked the "beaten up" tale I told the bartender, just to get a beer. And we talked, and talked, and talked forever, and soon enough, I fell in love. And so did she.

She was kind, caring, and always committed...

Until Alan came into the picture.

**Breaking the chains around me  
Nobody else can bind me  
Take a good look around me  
Now I'm breaking the chains**

Even before Vegas, I never liked Alan. He just seemed so crazy... but over the time in Vegas, my animosity for him was gone, and instantly we became fast friends... though he considers me to be his 2nd best friend. (Yeah, he will always love Phil more than me).

So, I made a promise to Alan that no matter what, I'll always hangout with him whenever I got time...

….

….

….and that led into the breakup... though I know it wasn't my fault.

When I introduced her to Alan, the two instantly hit it off, and surprisingly, she didn't mind his "strange mind world" he had...

….

...But then one day, she asked if I could stop hanging out with him for a while, because we needed some "alone" time. She kept claiming that Alan was with us all the time, and we never got any time to ourselves.

I countered by saying I made a promise to Alan that he'll never be alone ever again. Ever since Vegas, no one really has had time to talk or ever really see Alan... which pissed me off since he's a good man.

She, however, started to cry. I didn't understand why she was doing that, but then she broke my heart by saying, "It's like you love Alan more than me."

It drove me to the boiling point when she said that. I did love her, but she never understood anything about a man's friendship. I understood her's completely. Hell, we were spending time with her friends a lot and I never complained about them, and one of her friends happens to be in a great relationship with Stu right now.

**Woke up today  
I'm alone  
I look around  
But baby you were gone  
But I don't mind  
And I don't worry  
I will survive**

Then came the ultimatum. She said, it's either her, or Alan.

I didn't answer.

**I'm alone  
Now that you're gone  
Don't need nobody  
To hold or tie me down  
I broke the chains  
So let me be  
I've gotta be free**

With tears in her eyes, Penny packed her stuff and left my house, forever

Yeah, I forgot to tell you we moved in together.

**Breaking the chains around me  
Nobody else can bind me  
Take a good look around me  
Now I'm breaking the chains**

I don't care what I told people, none of it was my fault. Sure, Alan was there a lot, but still, I'm not the one at fault. I don't care if they said it's always both, not one way.

**Breaking the chains around me  
Nobody else can bind me  
Take a good look around me  
Now I'm breaking the chains**

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, before I decided to check one more time if all of Vegas was erased.

I turned around and looked at my body from behind, and sure enough, the tattoo of Alan wasn't there anymore... yeah, I really had to get rid of that goofy face on my back... it just brought back to many bad memories... even if Alan was crying over it... Don't worry Alan. You still have a friend.

That's one of the only good things about my new life after Penny... which is fucking HORRIBLE!

All I really have now is Alan, my other friends, my dirt bike, and my dad. That's it! I mean, what the fuck? Did my life really have to go into shambles after a bad breakup?

Eh, fuck it. I'm going to work.

I put on some new clothes, but it was the same as usual: long sleeve shirt with sleeves rolled up, dark brown jeans, and now I'm going to wear my new Avenged Sevenfold hat on the way... just to surprise some.

* * *

After arriving, I parked my truck and walked on in, not caring to look at anyone... until I started teaching. Speaking of which, again, I forgot to mention that everything before has gone back to normal, but this time, the students are either learning, or making fun of me because they kept thinking that I was the "Lone Wolf" back in Vegas... how dumb are these assholes? Do they really think that I was that idiot running and humiliating himself around Vegas?

And speak of the devil, the bell rings, and quickly they come on in and filled up the seats. "Good morning class. Hope you did some research about the conspiracy last night." I said taking my hat off.

The moment the students saw me, especially the girls, their jaws dropped upon seeing my new look... though if you ask me, I think they were scared of me, all because I look a little bit like Shane Walsh... except my head or face wasn't as tall as his.

Quickly, a girl, sexy blonde chick, Ashley, raise her hand. "Yes?" I pointed out.

"Um... Mr. Leikness... you uh..." She stuttered while pointing to her own head.

"What? You got a headache or something?" I asked. She instantly shook her head. "Then what is it?!"

"Dude, your hair!" Sean called out.

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Did you shave it or something? I mean you look like Shane from the Walking Dead." Said Jack.

And I'll be your Walking nightmare if you don't shut your trap about it. "What? Your professor here can't try out a new look or something?" I asked all of them. Instantly they shook their heads. "Good. Now let's get to a more important discussion.

* * *

After the incident in Las Vegas, I began to teach more in history, including war history, and now I'm on the conspiracy behind the Abraham Lincoln's assassination.

"Now there was more to this story than anyone else knows. It all started back after the war, when Lincoln was trying to stop the slavery in the south, which was something..." Ugh, ever since my bad breakup, I've been getting these fucking headaches. "...Something John Wilkes Booth was against. Now there were many questions as to why he wanted to assassinate Lincoln, more importantly, he was supposed to kidnap him in exchange for the captured Confederate General Robert E. Lee, but the question was, why were Vice President Andrew Jackson, and Secretary William Seward targeted as well? And what were the motives behind these attempted assassinations? Was it to restart the confederate cause? Or maybe... it was part of a-"

Then suddenly, and I could have sworn, I heard someone fart. I quickly looked into the crowd and saw all of them laugh.

Of course, that is funny. And if my dad was here, his guts would explode in laughter over that... but in my classroom, they'll regret it.

"Or maybe... It was part of a movement to keep on-" I said trying to ignore the disgusting sound and laughter, but unfortunately, another fart exploded.

And somehow, these people are enjoying the moment.

And again, I'm trying to keep calm. But that disgusting person is causing me to go off topic. "So could anyone tell me what the words Booth said after he jumped, and what it meant in Latin?"

"Does it rhyme with this?" Someone called out and said the answer in his farting.

The whole classroom exploded in laughter... seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them? Ever since they knew of my relationship with Penny, they just started to humiliate me for no reason... might be due to the no student-teacher thing, but this was an okay one cause we were both the same age.

But this shitting your pants in class, has gone way too far.

So, in order to deceive them, I started to laugh with them. Soon enough, they started to buy it. Now that their off guard, I quickly walk up the steps and head towards the pants shitting student, Jeremy, I think, was sitting. We kept laughing, and laughing, and laughing... until I grabbed him by his shirt collar, then started to drag him out of my classroom, much to the horror of the other students. I kicked the door open, then threw him to the ground and kneeled down next to him, pointing a threatening finger at him.

"You ever do that in my classroom, or in anyone else's, or in fact do any of that shit in this university, I will personally have you expelled, and make your life a living hell! You got that?!" I yelled in his face.

Quickly, he nods his head jerkily.

"Good... 'sniff'... oh Jesus Christ!" I muttered while covering my nose. "Go home and put on a different pair of underwear... fuck you stink man! Go on! Get out of here!"

Quickly, Jeremy leaves with a brown stain on his ass, as I quickly run back into my classroom to see the students reacting the same way I did.

So to keep things in order, I grabbed the air spray.

* * *

But the farting wasn't the worst today. The worst thing I ever saw was this cute couple making out on the lockers.

My temper reached the boiling point. So I walked up close to then, not even daring to look at them, then I grabbed the guy's shirt and quickly pulled him to the ground as I walked away.

"Hey man!" He called out.

"Oops..." I said ignoring him and went home.

* * *

**Stu's POV**

Even if I have a patient (even if it's Phil), I couldn't help but think of Sunday... cause come Sunday, I'm finally going to get married... properly this time. And best of all, I'm marrying someone who won't beat me, cheat on me, eat me, or is not a stripper... Lauren.

And to my surprise, I have to thank Ryan and Penny for hooking her up with me. If they weren't friends with her, I don't know where I'd be at.

Lauren became my life ever since we met. And, despite her fathers issues with me, everything with her was just perfect. So eventually, I proposed to her about six months ago, and she accepted... the only downside is, her parents wanted us to be married in Thailand.

Now granted, I can afford that, plus, it's very beautiful there, but I'm worried about Doug and Phil, I kind of wondered if they can afford the trip..

...and another thing was, after Vegas, I wasn't too sure if I should invite them. I mean, with another bachelor party, and Phil, and... well I know I'm definitely NOT inviting Alan to my wedding. He's just going to fuck it up like he did with Doug's. But anyways, yeah, I love Doug and Phil, since they were like my brothers when we were young. But then again, Phil has changed, now he has a son and a newborn baby. So, eventually, I gave the invites to Phil and Doug, along with Tracy and Stephanie... there's just one person I haven't giving it to yet. But right now, I had to put that aside and check Phil's teeth... hmm... the idiot, he should really come in more often... for one thing, since he's a good friend, he gets in for free... "Uh, huh. You really need to floss more."

"Fuck that! That's why I come here." Phil replied. Same dumbass as before.

"Then you should come more than once every two years!" I countered.

"Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?"

Like I said, never charged him. "I never charge you a dime, Phil!" As I got up, Phil grabbed the mask to the nitrous. Oh no, not again.

"Hey, how do I work the nitrous?" He asked, trying to get himself fucked up.

"Ah, you don't actually."

"Come on! Just one hit!"

"Nope. Now your fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?"

"Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand. For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there. Then my mother in laws watching the kids. So now she's got this whole new thing over my head. Plus, takes five days to get there."

Phil has no idea about travel flights, does he? "It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there." Oh yeah, I've been to Thailand, and it's gorgeous.

"Whatever, it's a hassle!"

"Well you got a point. It is kinda far."

"Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet lagged."

"But it's where her parents are from and it means a lot to them."

"Who gives a shit about her parents! Her dad hates you!"

"…..He doesn't hate me! He's just never spoken to me... ...I think it's a cultural thing." I'm sure once I'm married to Lauren, he'll respect me. Not treat me like doo-doo.

"Why can't you just get married in Vegas like you did the last time. It's so much easier." Uh-uh Phil! I'm not going through that experience again!

"Why can't you just be excited for me? This is my wedding!"

" You're really happy, huh?"

"I really am."

"Alright... ...I'm happy too."

"Thank you!"

"Gonna be fun." Phil said as he prepared to leave, but unfortunately for him, I noticed he grabbed my prescription pad.  
"Phil. Put the prescription pad back." He reluctantly walks back to me and hands it back. "Thank you. You know that's a felony right?"

"Fuck you, man!... by the way, have you called Ryan yet about the wedding?" He asked.

Ryan... jeez, ever since he called over the phone (and crying at the same time) about his breakup with Penny, I've been worried about him. I only visited him a couple of times, yet the strange thing is, he's been on a binge drinking... and I knew before Vegas, he never drinks! I don't know if I should invite him... I mean, I don't know if Lauren invited Penny to the wedding. If that happens, then the whole resort will burn down...

…

…

...Then again, my good heart tells me to do the right thing... who knows, maybe this trip will cheer him up... I hope.

"No Phil, I haven't... but I'm planning on it today." I finally answered to him as I looked at my pad... and found a hair on it... "Was this right up against your scrotum?" I asked.

"Yep." Phil replied as he walked away... EWW! I threw it on the table.

So after touching Phil's nut hair, there was only one thing left to do. I pulled out my cellphone and took a deep, long, breath and dialed Ryan's number.

* * *

**Ryan's POV**

**(Avenged Sevenfold – Seize The Day... parts of it)**

**So, what if I never hold you, yeah  
Or kiss your lips again?  
So I never want to leave you  
And the memories of us to see  
I beg don't leave me**

**Seize the day or die  
Regretting the time you lost  
It's empty and cold without you here  
Too many people to ache over**

My slumber and thoughts were interrupted by the vibrations of my phone stuck in my pants pockets. I reached in to grab it and pulled it out to see who it was.

Stu.

**Trials in life, questions of us existing here  
Don't want to die alone  
Without you here, please tell me  
What we have is real**

Instantly, I took my earplugs out of my ears and placed my Ipod on the table before I answered. "Hello?" I asked.

_"__Hey, Ryan, it's me, Stu."_ He said.

"Oh, hey Stu. It's been a while since we last talked."

_"__I know, but hey, doctors have crazy schedules."_

"Stu, we went over this a million times. Your just a dentist."

_"__Shut up."_

I chuckle a little "So how's everything going with Lauren?"

_"__Well... I'm glad you asked that. Cause, in about a week, we're going to get married."_

My eyes widen. "Your fucking kidding."

_"__I'm not. And the even better news is... your invited to my wedding, as the best man."_

"Uh... wow... thanks Stu... I mean... this is really an honor your-"

_"__I know, I know. Just start packing early, and make sure you get a passport to Thailand ASAP. By the way, make sure to come to IHOP's for a brunch on Wednesday. I'll see you then. Bye."_

...Wow... another wedding... and he just invited me to HIS wedding... as his BEST MAN! Holy shit!... and he's being kind by taking me to a brunch... and I'm going to Thailand...

...

….Wait? Thailand? WHAT?!

**And there is chapter 1..**

**And I would like to credit Mandalore the Freedom for the farting scene. Thanks goes to you buddy!**

**And to be honest, it really was a struggle since I had to go through the emotions of Ryan.**

**As you can see, it wasn't Vegas that changed him into this, it was the characters that drove him into madness. Can he be saved however?**

**And yeah, I'm a huge Avenged Sevenfold and 80's freak.**

**Review please**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well I hope we can get past the drama that Ryan had to go through in the last chapter. Cause frankly, I felt really horrible for doing that.**

**Now then, obvious thanks goes to xxxxninaxxxx, thank you for being a very supportive follower. XOXOXO's to you. Special thanks also goes to Mandalore the freedom and Residentkilla. I like to thank you two for the advice and support as well.**

**Now onto chapter 2**

**Ugh. I don't own Hangover, I own Ryan and Penny... I getting tired of this disclaimer.**

**Chapter 2: Alan**

**Tracy's POV**

"Oh my god, I just realized." I said to my husband as he drove.

"What?" He asked.

"I forgot to renew my passport!" And now I'll never make it to Stu's wedding in time!... but for some strange reason, Doug had a smirk on his face.

"Oh no... Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer."

Oh thank God... "You're the best!"

"Hey! We're a team!" He then leaned over and gave me a kiss on my cheek... oh how much I love this man... sure things were a bit weird after he and Ryan told me everything about Vegas... well Ryan had to do the explaining, since my husband was trapped on the roof burning to death, but still, everything was great for us... but now that I realized about the wedding, I had to get something off my back, something that'll get Doug, and Stu, very upset... but I had to get Doug in a positive mood before I told him, so I said, "You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!"

"Thank you!"

Then I let out a cough and said, "So I know you're not gonna get mad."

"Mad? Mad at what?"

Then I revealed the truth, "Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding."

Surprisingly, this didn't upset Doug, but he looked confused. "So?"

Even if he's... odd, he's still my brother and a dear friend to Doug's friends, especially Phil and Ryan. "So he's heart-broken Doug. You guys are like his family!"

"No. Your family is like his family."

"All Alan talks about is the three of you... and that weekend."

"Wait a second... is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?"

"He does that when he's upset. He just doesn't understand why he's not invited. Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him..." Then I give him my puppy dog eyes that he could never resist. "For me..."

Though the look in his face shows that he's reluctant, he eventually gives in. "Alright honey. You you... damn I wish I could resist that look." He said.

I chuckle. "Oh no you can't." I love it when I use that look on him. He always gives in.

* * *

**Wednesday**

**Ryan's POV**

I parked the Dodge in the parking lot, next to a familiar looking Prius. God does Doug still drive that sissy looking car?... anyways, I hopped out and saw two friends of mine I haven't seen in a while. "Doug! Phil!" I called to them as they both wrap their arms around me in a hug.

"How's it going buddy?" Doug asked.

"Oh same ol', same ol'. Everything going downhill for me since the... well you know." I told him as Doug and Phil's smile fades.

"Yeah, I see."

"And for some reason, my students are starting to torment me for no reason! Two days ago, this son of a bitch in my class started farting every time I was trying to talk, and he made a disgusting smell in my room."

"Your shitting me?" Phil asked.

"Please don't say shit or anything related to it. It's just too painful." I told him.

"Sorry man. Well anyways, at least you still have your good friends here."

"Thanks Phil... what's that in the car?" I could have sworn what I saw was a basket... but there was something moving in there.

"Oh that. Hang on." Phil quickly went back into the Prius and pulled out the basket... and to my surprise and shock, it was a baby. "Ryan, this is my daughter, Kayla. Say hi to my best pal here sweetie." He said as set Kayla down and took her out of the seat. I looked on in awe... and amazement... for Phil, I mean, after Vegas, he really became a devoted husband to his family, and now he has a second child... "Yo, wolfy, did you hear what I said?" Phil said snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry Phil. I just got lost that's all, I mean, after Vegas, I didn't expect this."

"And I was expecting you to gaffe us off." I turned around to see Stu, wearing a Journey shirt, walking up and giving me a hug. "How's it going bud?" He asked.

"Well its all gone down to suckyville now that your here." I answered with a smirk.

"Ha-ha-ha, very funny. You look good kiddo. I see you cleaned your face up a little."

I quickly rubbed my clean face, now beard-free. "Yeah, thought I'd look good to be your best man. Though Seriously Stu, congratulations man, I'm very happy for ya... though I'm pissed about the Thailand thing."

"Oh come on Ryan, you'll love it when we get there, it's beautiful!"

"It's gonna cost me like two grand to get over there! Plus it's like a two-day flight or something!"

"15 hours... and I admit it's pretty far."

"No shit."

"Hey, watch your mouth in front of my little girl here." Phil warned me.

"Are you kidding me Phil? I'm betting my money that you had the crib and kid in your room while you have sex with Stephanie, and I'm pretty sure your calling your child swear names, like 'lil shit-head' or something. Besides, when she grows up to be a teen she'll already be using the F' bomb, then becomes rebellious, starts to hate you, then goes and gets knocked u. I've seen a lot of that when I grew up, so you better keep a good eye on her and not be a bad influence. " I told him before he glares and points his finger at me.

"I'm warning you kid. Back off. And don't swear in front of my kid."

"Seriously, you've changed Phil and I'm liking this new you. Am I right Doug?"

"He's right Phil, now why don't we go in and have some brunch, I'm starving." He said walking in first.

* * *

So we went in and sat at a booth, where me and Doug sat by the window, while Stu and Phil sat on the outside, as Kayla, back in her basket was set between me and Phil. After settling down, I placed my hat next to the window and unwrapped my napkin to get my silverware... until I stopped upon seeing all three, AND Kayla, stare at me... and I fucking HATE IT when people stare at me. Phil took off his sunglasses, while Stu's jaw dropped, as Doug dropped his fork, and Kayla dropped her pacifier out of her mouth.

"What?!" I asked them. Seriously? Why are people staring at me?... It frightening...

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Phil asked me.

"What happened to "no swearing in front of your little girl?"

"Fuck off." Same old Phil.

"Seriously Ryan! What happened to your hair?" Doug asked as I rubbed my buzz cut.

"You look like Justin Timberlake!" Stu added.

"Seriously, you listen to his music?"

"That's not what I meant! And I was just saying, what happened to it?"

"I had to cut it, it was growing too big? Why? You guys don't like it?" And they instantly shake their heads no.

"No, no Ryan, it looks good on ya... just a little surprised that you cut your hair, I mean, I thought you liked the short hair kind, not the very short or long kind of hair. Besides, aren't you going to miss the front stick up look like mine and Stu's?" Doug asked.

"Not really? Now can we get some food, I'm haven't eaten all morning."

* * *

So I ordered some nice sausage biscuits and gravy, along with some hash browns and a piece of toast, while they ordered whatever they wanted. So we ate and had some occasional talks about the wedding... that is until Doug mentions something about Alan. I quickly finish one biscuit and watch Doug asking politely to give Alan a wedding invitation... and to my shock, Stu quickly rejects the offer, rather harshly. I gave Stu a "what the hell" kind of look since he's not inviting a good friend to his wedding.

"No fucking way! Absolutely not!" He said while focusing again on his food.

"Why not Stu?" I asked him nonchalantly while I took a bite of my hash browns.

"Cause he nearly fucked up Doug's wedding, that's why."

"Come on Stu, it's killing him." Said Doug.

"I don't care. Honestly, the three of you were barely invited." Stu said, again, rather harshly.

Okay, we're his three best friends, and he said we're barely invited? "Uh, ouch, considering that you invited me to be the best man..." I told him.

"I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what... Alan considers you to be one of his best friends." Said Doug, still trying to convince him.

"I consider Alan to be insane." Stu continued as he, for some reason, put a napkin over his drink.

"That was two years ago, he's changed a bit Stu!" I said.

"Stu, throw him a bone! We've already said he's got to pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks. You know what. We should see if we can squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party." Said Phil.

Oh yeah, I forgot, I wonder when we'll have a bachelor party? I mean, I'm a bit nervous about a party since the incident in Vegas, but I'm sure this one will be just fine.

"That's good." Doug mentioned. Looks like he wants one as well.

"I'm glad you brought that up. Because... this is the bachelor party!" Stu said pointing his fingers on the table... what the fuck?

"What?" Doug asked.

"Hold the phone..." I said.

"What are you talking about?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch! Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes... a lap dance from the waitress..." I noticed Doug looking away, not happy about the decision, well actually, very upset with all of Stu's decisions. I look at Stu with a pissed off expression on my face.

But the one who was upset the most was Phil, who throws his fork down. "Ha-ha-ha-... that's bullshit! You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu."

Then I noticed that he once again put that napkin over his drink, to which he reveals, "You see that? That orange juice with a napkin on top. Do you know why? So nobody will roofie me." He said. Oh sweet Jesus Stu, are you that superstitious?

"Well I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party!" Phil replied angrily at him.

"C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting?" Doug asked. Of course he is you dumbass!

"No, I don't. I'm still putting the pieces of my broken psyche back together. And you know what the glue is? Lauren! I'm not doing anything to screw that up." I get it Stu, you love her and you don't want to fuck it all up for her, but seriously?

"Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us." Said Phil.

"He's got a really good point there." I added.

"Oh, this'll be good." Oh really? You don't think it wasn't for us? How blind are you Stu?

"Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later you met your true soul mate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt." Phil said a little too loud, which caused a few eyes, especially an old couple to look at him with disapproved looks.

"Whoa! Watch it!" I silently told him.

"Oh that's ok Ryan. In fact that's okay everyone! I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot we're at a fucking IHOP!"

"Well it's my decision and it's final, so... how bout a toast?" Stu said, confident with his decision, as he raised his glass. Phil just rose from his seat, pouting, "This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car!"

"C'mon Phil, where you going?" Doug asked. Doug, Doug, I just don't get it! He's getting married in Thailand! That's great for him, but what about us? He's selfish!" Then Phil reached down and grabbed Kayla's basket. "Come on, sweetheart" He said very kindly to her before he took one more look at Stu and told him, "Shame on you!" Then he left the three of us to finish our meal. I just look down and finish what's left of my food, just as Doug looks back to Stu and tries to stick up for him.

"Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what." He said. Really? You were upset that he didn't want a REAL bachelor party, now your sticking up for him as well? Your selfish too Doug... I think.

"Thank you." Stu said, sounding happily

"But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing." Stu lowered his head, groaning in agony before they both turned to me.

"He's got a point." I said not looking up.

"Not really Ryan, I'm not inviting Al-"

"No, I meant Phil... and somewhat Doug."

"Really? How?"

"Stu, are you that blind? Two years ago, you were on a choke leash, being controlled by that bitch Melissa! If it wasn't for Alan first off, you would never have grown a set and broke free of those chains! Thanks to him, you stood yourself up and dumped her right on the spot like I remembered, "since you fucked that waiter last June, BOOM!" Like that. Alan for one, helped all of us out. And for the record, it was me and Penny were the ones who were friends with Lauren. If it wasn't for her and I, then who knows where you would be now. So you say it wasn't us who helped you with Lauren? Shame on you then!

"And what about you though? How did Alan's antic's help you back after Vegas?"

"Shut the fuck up before I take this butter knife and cut those hard-earned set off. You should at least be thankful for us and deliver something better than this... so I hope why don't you pay the bill this time like you did the last one, while I wait by the car?" Then I grabbed my hat and left IHOP, upset over Stu's decisions.

Turns out, all three of us somehow, by some miracle, managed to convince Stu to actually invite Alan... though he is very reluctant to do this. So he drove Doug's car carrying Doug, Phil, and Kayla, while I drove behind them all the way to Sid's house. For one thing however, it was going to feel great to see one of my best friends again. Since my tragic break-up, the visits and hangouts I've had with Alan reduced quite a lot, and it greatly made him upset. It wasn't my fault though, I was just too heartbroken for visits. I had to get over something personal. I called him about that so I could get a break for once.

So we arrived about half an hour later, and upon knocking on the door, it opened and there stood Sid, very surprised to see us. He quickly gave me, Doug, and Stu hugs, but not Phil, since he still doesn't like him, then asked us what we were doing there. Stu tried to say he wanted to check up, trying to prevent himself from going to Alan, but Doug quickly told the truth. Sid sounded very excited to hear about Stu's "wanting to invite Alan", and quickly lead us to his room. The only thing I heard on the way was Sid talking about Alan's loneliness, and Stu groaning, again trying so hard not to invite Alan.

"Guys, I can't tell you how much this means... Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got word of the wedding." Sid said as we reached his room.

"I'm sure he has." Stu mumbled.

"Yeah. Been standing outside by the mailbox every day." Sid continued.

"Holy shit. That's tough." I said.

"Yeah. I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas. He really needs this." Then Sid knocked on the door.

"WHAT?!" Alan cried out.

"Whoa.." I muttered.

"Sweetie, papa! You have visitors!... Go in slowly. Give him a chance to acclimate." Sid told us as we backed up a little, just as the door opened slowly, revealing Alan, who was wearing a tennis court shirt, and from what I could guess either very short tennis shorts, or its actually his underwear... ew.

"Hey, Alan!" Said Doug, putting on a fake smile.

"Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!... Hey Ryan."

"Hey, bud!" Phil said acting nice.

Unlike the others, I move forward and give Alan a nice warm hug. "It's been a while buddy." I told him as he patted my back.

"Nice to see you my P.I.C..." Then he quickly looks at all of us again and lowers his head. "You guys wanna come in?" He asked. To Stu, it felt like walking into hell.

"Sure. Absolutely." Doug said as we all walked into his room, just as Sid tries to tell Alan, "Ok. See you on the court in half..." But was met with Alan slamming the door in his face. **"!"**

"Pretty cool room, Alan!" Said Phil.

"Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent." Alan said as he sat down next to his laptop, but was quickly scolded by Doug when he cried out, " Alan, what the fuck! We were supposed to delete these! You made a promise!"

Now I've visited Alan quite a lot, but to my surprise, and horror, all the pictures of the Vegas incident were in her all of a sudden. All those pic's I remember, Stu pulling out his tooth, Flash Gordon knocking me and Phil out cold, Alan and I butt-fucking/tea-bagging Doug, Mr. Chow and Alan holding hands in... wait a minute, I don't remember that one... plus it's not even in Vegas!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell? I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these!" Stu complained as he looked at the one with him and Jade getting married. I really thought the two were great when they started to date, but things didn't work out between them, but at least they left on good terms.

"Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here." Alan said calmly.

"I don't care! It's a total violation of trust!"

Alan quickly pressed a voice box or something, an intercom, I don't know what it was, but he then spoke into it. "Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!" **"!"**

"_I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up._" Linda, Sid's wife, said over the box.

"I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool." But I barely listened to Alan as I looked at the photo of the guy to nearly killed us in Vegas.

"Uh, Al, is that Mr. Chow?" I asked.

"Yeah. We still keep in touch." He said.

"Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?" Stu asked.

"He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding. He's actually quite charming." I don't believe what Alan was saying! That gay Asian gangster threatened to kill us!

"Alan, he's a criminal!" Stu continued, just as Linda walks in. "Excuse me, boys!" She said moving towards Alan's plate.

"Hi, Linda!" Said Doug, sounding happy to see her.

"Hi, Dougie!" She replied before giving me a happy smile. She always smiled at me when I came to see her "little boy".

"Linda." I said kindly.

"Ryan." She said kindly back as she took the plate... why doesn't Alan just get off his fat ass and do it himself though?

"I guess we don't do desert anymore. I didn't get that memo." Alan said sound very harsh, not to mention very rude. **"!" **

"I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back." Linda said sounding apologetic... why?

"Would a cupcake kill you?" Holy shit Alan! Your acting like an asshole! **"!"**

"You know, I don't think this was a good idea." Stu said trying to walk away, but Doug quickly restrained him and said, "Alan, we have a little surprise for you. Stu would like to invite you to his wedding."

Stu, now beyond desperate, says, "Well only if you're not busy."

"Stu..." Phil warned him.

"Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town." It was Stu's last attempt at saving his own skin and wedding.

"No. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend... are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me?" Alan, sounding very surprised like a child.

I knew inside Stu, he had a big heart that was too good to be angry and reject Alan. So he took a deep breath and said, "Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?"

"Phil, are you going?" Alan asked, hoping his "favorite" would be there as well.

"Of course!" Said Phil.

"Ryan?" Alan turned towards me and gave me a puppy-dog eye look, hoping I'll be there as well.

"I am pal. Wouldn't be a wedding without me right?" I chuckled.

"Then it will be fun." Alan gave all of us a heartwarming smile... then quickly went into his mini-fridge and pulled out an injection needle, then slammed it into his leg

We all jumped in surprise. "SHIT!" I cried out.

"What the fuck are you doing, man?" Phil asked, looking disgusted.

"It's my immunizations. It's the last day I can do it." Alan said as he pressed and squeezed the liquid into his leg. Fuck that's creepy... still, it's the same Alan we all know and love.

"That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse!" Stu exclaimed.

"I'm a nurse. Just not registered." Alan replied.

"Doesn't mean your really a nurse!" But of course, he ignored me.

Then Alan went for something on his desk, and pulled out a chattering teeth toy. "Stu, look at this! I bought this cause I thought of you!" Then he winded up the teeth and set it down. The only thing different about it was a tooth was covered in black, making it look like it was missing a tooth. It started to chatter around as all of us except for Stu laughed. I'm sorry Stu, but this was too funny to resist, it just reminded me of your quote two years ago, "I look like a nerdy hillbilly!".

All he could do though was give us all a death glare.

**And there is chapter 2. Hope you all enjoyed.**

**Now your probably wondering why I added "!" that into the story.**

**Well, I decided to have some fun with this fanfic by putting an interactive game inside a story. I call it, the Alan Drinking Game.**

**The rules are, you get yourself something to drink (knowing all of you, it's probably alcohol, but I don't really drink at all), then lock yourself in a room for your own protection, and when the story is finished, you read it all over again and take shots every time Alan acts like an asshole.**

**Yeah, about that, ever since I saw part 2, I noticed that Alan was a big time jackass in the film. I mean, in the first one he was a lovable idiot, but now he became more like a douche.**

**Review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now comes the chapter every Ryan fan has waited for... or been terrified of...  
The moment has come for our protagonist, and so far, who knows what the results are going to be...  
I don't own the Hangover. I own Ryan and Penny... enjoy...**

**Chapter 3: Thailand... sucks for now.**

So here's what went down today. It was Thursday afternoon first off, so we'll arrive in Thailand in the morning. Stu invited Alan, though he really wanted to kill all of us, mostly Doug and I, for doing that. I had to quickly call Jacob and tell him of the weekend, and he accepted my leave, thank God, and now, we're at the airport waiting for Teddy, Lauren's little brother. I had everything packed and ready. Got a new tux that matches with the other guy's suits, but for right now, I'm still wearing my plain street clothes, just until we reach the resort, and still wore my hat.

Upon reaching the airport, I noticed the guys weren't here yet, so I guess it made me realize that I got here first. I turned around, and thankfully saw the guys walking up in a straight line. All of them looked excited... except for Alan, whose eyes were covered by his shades, and Stu, once again for having to invite Alan.

Then Stu walked right past me, and walked up to this young Asian guy who I could assume was a teen.

"Hey, there he is!" Stu said sounding very excited.

"Hey, Stu!" The boy said... for some reason he looks familiar...

"Teddy! What's up? How are ya?" Stu asked as he hugged him. Oh wait a minute, now I remember! This is Lauren's little brother! She talked about him when I... well it was before the break up, and I'm not going to discuss that.

"Who's this guy, Stu?" Alan asked, sounding not too happy what's so ever.

"This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother. He goes to Stanford. Pre-med. Teddy, this is Phil, Alan, and Doug." Said Stu as Teddy said hi to the guys and shook their hands, while they muttered in surprise about Teddy going to Stanford... Stanford, shit, and this guy is 16.

"And that there Teddy, is Ryan." Stu continued pointing to me.  
"Hey, nice to meet you, man!" I said as we shook hands.

"Yeah, Stu and Lauren told me a lot about you. You're the young teacher I heard about. Right?"

"Yeah I am."

"Must be an amazing accomplishment you earned at such a young age. That's something for people to admire."

I like this guy already. "Well I was twenty, but you, wow, Stanford? That's an incredible feat. And your younger than I am."

"Cause he's 17. Kind of a genius." Said Stu.

"Actually, I'm 16. I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early."

"Because you're a genius."

So what are you, a doctor?" Alan interrupted.

"No, not yet. I'm pre-med." Teddy explained.

"Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he turned out to be a gay." **"!" **Alan said rather harshly. "Alan!" I quickly smacked him in the back of his head.

"Ow! Ryan! It's true, I read it in Teen People."

"Don't be rude!" I told him before I pulled out some corn nuts. "Behave, or you won't get any more treats." Alan quickly went back into doggy mode. I patted him on the head and told him "Good boy." Then placed a corn nut in his mouth. "Be good." I warned him.

Right after that douche/akward moment, Teddy points his thumb behind him. "Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane. You guys want anything?" Teddy asked.

"No, thanks. I'm good." Said Doug.

"I would actually love a small water." Said Stu.

"Cool."

And Teddy left to retrieve the items for the long trip. All I really need is my Ipod and listen to Avenged Sevenfold.

"What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old." Said Stu.

"Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!" I said back to him.

"I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what. How does this work?"

"How does what work?"

"Is that person coming to the wedding?"

"Yes Alan. My brides little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?" Stu asked.

"Not really." Alan replied, sounding not happy about it again.

"ALAN! For God's sake! Of course he's coming because like Stu said, it's his fiancée's little brother, which mean he's coming, cause he's family! Come on, even if my dumbass brother was the worst person in the world, I'd still invite him cause he's family." I told him.

"Well, it's the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me. **"!"  
**  
"Don't over react. It's gonna be fine." Doug said patting Stu on the back, as my best pal only grunted, clearly regretting his decision. I could only feel sorry for him since Doug forced him into this situation.

* * *

Later on as we sat down waiting for the plane, Teddy came up by me and Alan, asking, "Hey. Mind if I sit?" Alan, however, replied... in a very harsh way.

"Wolf pack only. Find another chair." **"!" **Once again, I slap him in the head.

"There is no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon." Stu said taking Alan's bag off the seat.

"It's no problem. I'll find..." Teddy said, a little hurt over Alan's words.

"Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!" Stu then tossed the bag onto the ground, much to Alan's objections.

"Careful, that's a Louis... That is a Louis Vuitton!" "Who gives a fuck Alan..." I told him.

"That's a nice neck roll!" Alan, to my surprise, said rather nicely.

"Thanks! You can use it if you want." Teddy offered.

"Ok." Then he takes it, and throws it far away, before he pulls out his pager and looks at it. **"!"**

"Can I see that Alan?" I asked.

"Oh sure!" Alan said gleefully as he handed me the same damn pager he used in Vegas, which annoyed the fuck out of me. So I took a look and smiled at him, then like he did with the neck roll, I threw it across the room.

"Did you just do that?" Alan said.

"Yup."

* * *

All I did was listen to Avenged Sevenfold on my Ipod. It was going to be about 15/16 hours, so I had all of their albums, I decided to take a nap while I listened... as images of my past two years ago struck again...

**(Avenged Sevenfold – So Far Away)  
Never feared for anything  
Never shamed but never free  
A laugh that healed the broken heart  
With all that it could**

There we were, two years ago, at Doug's wedding... just us together, dancing in the middle as the Dan Band plays...

**Lived the life so endlessly  
Saw beyond what others see  
I tried to heal your broken heart  
With all that I cold  
Will you stay?  
Will you stay away forever?**

I watched her come into my classroom for the first time, and I grew a happy smile for the first time...

**How do I live without the ones I love?  
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned  
Place and time always on my mind  
I have so much to say but you're so far away**

Our first date... was incredible... we talked... we listened... and we kissed.

**Plans of what our futures hold  
Foolish lies of growing old  
It seems we're so invincible  
The truth is so cold**

Alan met her for the first time... and she wrapped her arms around him in joy...

**A final song, a last request  
A perfect chapter laid to rest  
Now and then I try to find  
A place in my mind  
Where you can stay  
You can stay away forever**

She took me to see her friends... and we brought Stu and Alan along with us... it was the first time Stu and Lauren met... and Alan got spitted on by a few of Penny's friends...

**How do I live without the ones I love?  
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned  
Place and time always on my mind  
I have so much to say but you're so far away**

I held my GoPro camera and pointed it at us, as I said I'm falling in love with her, then we began our make out.

**Sleep tight I'm not afraid (not afraid)  
The ones that we love are here with me  
Lay away a place for me (place for me)  
Cause as soon as I'm done  
I'll be on my way  
To live eternally**

After Alan left... she just kept telling me we're not alone too much anymore...  
**  
How do I live without the ones I love?  
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned  
Place and time always on my mind  
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to say  
When I have so much to say but you're so far away**

She asked if I did love her, or I'm just a friend to her... if Alan is more important to me than her... She threw my hat at me and cried as she exited the door..

**I love you, you were ready  
The pain is strong and urges rise  
But I'll see you, when he lets me  
Your pain is gone, your hands untied**

I went drinking with Alan, Phil, and Stu, as I told them everything... and that's when my fuckin' nightmare returned...

**So far away (so close)  
And I need you to know  
So far away (so close)  
And I need you to, need you to know**

One song down, quite a few to go... and SO MANY FUCKING HOURS!... How the hell am I suppose to wait for 15 fucking hours?! Might as well check out how the guys are doing... I turned around to see them sleeping... most of them... Both Phil and Doug had their wives on their shoulders, while they snoozed. Stu was watching a movie, while he sat next to Teddy... it was cool to see these guys around each other, since their going to be brother-in-laws soon...

And Alan... what the fuck? He's staring at Teddy... what the fuck is his issue? I never seen him act like an asshole! I quickly pulled out my cell phone and texted Alan: _Will you quit staring at Teddy like he's a problem?_

The reply he sent was: _No. There's just something wrong with this man... I know a place, filled with alligators... _**"****!"**

Frustrated by Alan's sudden douchiness, I gave him a warning: _If you don't stop, then I guess I'll finish these corn nuts all by myself …_I turned to look and this time, he was looking out the window. I smiled in victory as I texted back to him: _Good boy. _I looked back again to see Alan opening his mouth, hoping for a nut. I chucked as I looked around to make sure no stewardess would interfere, then I took a nut out and with good aim, tossed it into Alan's mouth. And he ate it like a dog.

* * *

Thailand... is pretty impressive... Now I'm beginning to question on why I thought the two grand trip here was going to stink... well I'm just glad that I was wrong, cause I'm enjoying the sights too much already. So all six of us were in a limo, heading for the resort, drinking champagne as we watched the beautiful mountains and cliffs, along with the beautiful forest's out here. There was a cliff that I know my dad would love to repel on... maybe I should get married here one day... whoa... why am I thinking about marriage, I just lost someone I loved, and now I'm thinking of that?

So we reached the resort, and wow it looked so beautiful...

The moment we exited the vehicle, I saw Lauren made a straight beeline towards Stu, and gave him the biggest hug she's ever given anybody in her life... and it was such a beautiful moment between the two... I'm just amazed that Stu finally found the one and now he's truly happy... and that's what made my day today, as my best friend was finally free from evil and found his soul mate...

And speaking of soul mate.

"Baby!" Lauren cried out as she hugged Stu to death, before delivering him a kiss.

"This is so absolutely beautiful! Thank you much!" Said Stu.

"Of course." Then they resumed the hugging as me, Phil, Stephanie, Doug, Tracy, and Teddy watched... and as I turned around, I saw Alan taking off his sunglasses, and once again, stared at Teddy, with an unknown look that spelled trouble. I patted him on the shoulder and whispered into his ear, "Don't do anything to fuck up Stu's wedding. Be a good boy." I warned him.

"I won't Ryan... I just don't want him to ruin everything..." He whispered back pointing to the oblivious Teddy.

"I don't think he'll do anything Alan.. he's very innocent, so leave him alone."

"Doesn't look innocent to me... keep an eye on him..."

I roll my eyes and said, "You got it bud. Just dress nice tonight. Okay?"

"Understood."

* * *

So now that I'm all dressed and ready, I walked out of the resort and looked at the scenery... It was just too damn beautiful tonight... boy I said that a lot, haven't I? I mean, Thailand is gorgeous! I didn't know it would be the biggest "wow" factor in the world. Sure it's got some strange facts Alan told me about, but it doesn't matter, I was just hypnotized by how glorious everything looked for Stu and Lauren's upcoming wedding.

Speaking of the two, I better check up on them and see how their doing, not to mention talk to Lauren, since I haven't seen her in seven months... four months before... well I won't get into that, but still. So I walked up to the two just as I noticed that Stu was talking to Lauren's dad, which I heard from Phil, and Lauren, that he's a real asshole... well you can't judge a book by it's-

"Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited. Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family." Said Stu... again trying to be fancy with his dentist title.

"You have to realize that in my country we don't consider dentists to be real doctors." Said Lauren's dad.

"Dad..."

Okay... I was wrong. You can judge a book by its cover... only on this prick.

"Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight." Lauren's dad said walking away without speaking to Stu again, not even saying nice things about him, or for his daughter... all he cares about it Teddy.

"Ouch!" Stu muttered.

"I'm so sorry..." Lauren said, knowing what her father is like, and offended by his actions.

"Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother, isn't he?"

"Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's always been that way. He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?"

"Lauren!" I said walking over to her and Stu. When she turned to me, she had a surprised look on her face, but she quickly turned it into a smile.

"Ryan! So glad to see you again!" She said giving me a hug. I returned the hug as well, but knew I had to ask about the look.

"What was the surprise look you had? It's not the buzz cut is it? Cause everyone has given me shit about this, "why is your head like Justin Timberlake's hair?!" I asked.

"No! It's just been so long, that's all."

"Oh thank God. But wow Lauren, you look great!" Then I turned to Stu. "Stu, I told ya, you found yourself the perfect woman right here... now are you going to thank us for helping you?" I asked.

"Okay, fine, thank you Ryan, and later on, Phil, for helping me. There, you happy?"

"Definitely." Then I switched back to Lauren. "I'm really happy for you guys, I mean, this, all this, wow, it's really incredible. I actually can't wait for Sunday to come for you two."

"Thank you, and thank you for coming, for Stu."

"For both of you. But yes, thank you Stu, I promise I'll stand right next to you so you don't do anything stupid." That earned a chuckle from the two... but for some reason, their faces were hiding something... something I needed to find out.

In the meantime, Alan walks over to us, talking over the phone. "You can just fax it over to me. I'll pick it up at the concierge. Thanks, papa! Bye bye!" He said before he hung up. "That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son. We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense."

"Oh... That's so unnecessary." Said Stu.

"I've been meaning to ask someone. I notice this is a fishing village. Is there a Long John Silver's on the island?"

"You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry." Said Lauren, not knowing the weird side of Alan.

"But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood." Said Stu.

"Better than Long John's?"

"Yes." I told him.

"I'll be the judge of that." Then he quickly takes Lauren's champagne. "Enjoy your evening." **"!"**

I quickly walked over to Alan, grabbed the drink from his hands, and said, "Don't be rude..." Then slapped his head again before I walked over and handed Lauren her drink back. "Don't worry, he's extra special to us... and he didn't put his beard in that. So it's still good." I said.

Quickly Stu grabbed and took me, or should I say, forcefully over to the champagne table. "Tell me something Ryan, we've been friends for so long, I mean, how could I be the girly girl of the group?! Tell me!" He said, trying to sound, or at least, act, like a drunk.

"What?"

"Speaking of girls, check out that brunette over there!" He said pointing to a pretty cute looking girl about a tiny bit over my age, talking to some girls... okay, so I'll give the strange Stu and Lauren a pass, while I check out this chick.

I walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulders. She turned around and I said hi to her.

"Hi there." She replied.

"So what brings you to the wedding?" I asked.

"Oh my mother happens to be a friend of the family, so she brought all of us here." She pointed to her mother, who I could guess was around her late 40's, yet she looked gorgeous.

"Well I see where she gets her good looks from." Quickly she chuckles.

"So what brings you here?"

"I'm actually the best man for the wedding. That dude in the glasses over there next to the bride is my best pal actually."

"Really?"

"Oh yes really." Then I took a small sip of my drink as she said something that sounded rather weird... and exciting.

"Well, I do like those kind of guys..." And it sounded rather seductively.

Quickly getting the memo, I took another drink, this time gulping all of it down... until I saw something in the glass. I quickly chugged down some more to see who it is... oh God no... the moment all the champagne was gone, to my horror, I saw Penny standing far away, talking to someone.

And foolishly, I swallowed some that went into my air tube... and caused me to spit the rest into the brunette's face.

"Oh shit." I muttered as she looked on, shocked, appalled, and soaked. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean-"

**'SMACK!'**

"OH! FUCK!" I muttered as I felt the red slap mark on my cheek. But I quickly had to cover myself before Penny saw me. I quickly ducked and moved away, getting a few eyes staring at me. So then I spotted a woman using one of those Chinese fans, and quickly snatched it away from her and hid my face.

"Hey!" She cried out.

"I'll pay you later!" I shouted quietly as I walked back to Stu and Lauren, hiding my slap mark and right side with both hands.

"Ryan? What happened to you?" Stu asked.

"Stu! Lauren! What the fuck is she doing here?!" I said pointed to Penny.

"Ooh... shit..." Lauren muttered.

"Wait... what do you mean shit?!"

"Well uh... we had to invite her Ryan." Said Stu.

"WHAT?!" I yelled quietly.

"Well, she had to come. She's not only Lauren's best friend but she's also the main reason how me and Lauren ended up here..."

...  
STU ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?! I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU A FEW DAYS AGO AT FUCKING IHOP ON YOUR SELFISH BRUNCH! IT WAS NOT JUST HER! IT WAS ALL OF US THAT IS THE REASON WHY YOUR WITH LAUREN!

"And she's the maid-of-honor... plus we thought it would bury the hatchet between you two..." Said Lauren.

I didn't reply to them... all I could do though was walk away and begin my drinking habit again...

...Great... Just fucking great... Thailand now sucks...

**Penny's POV**

There was a strange man, he almost looked bald, had sort of a Justin Timberlake buzz cut. I watched as he got slapped in the face by this one girl, then quickly ran away... probably in shame... who cares though, all I could do now was congratulate my bestie, thank her and Stu, and get the job done... I still can't believe it though. Lauren was one of my best friends, and her and Stu looked so happy together... it was so touching... even if Stu is friends with... no, can't think like that. He's gone. He's out of my life, he never wanted to be with me. He just kept acting selfish cause he focused more on Alan than his own love... I wish I could understand his friendship, but for Christ's sake! It was not like once, twice, or ten times, every time we went on a date, he brought Alan with, and we needed time to ourselves!... I needed time to get to know him more. I needed more time to love him, I needed him more so one day I would ask if we could get...No... no, why did I think like that... stupid, stupid...

So I headed over again to Lauren and Stu... until something small, yet hairy and round, walked up to me.

"Penny?!" He asked.

"Alan?!" I replied, shocked upon seeing my ex's best friend.

"Oh my goodness! It's so good to see you!" He came by and hugged me... and for some reason, as if I was mind controlled, I returned the hug.

"Alan, what a surprise! What are you doing here?" I don't know why, but I feel happy, and angry to see him here... but I had to act nice so I won't hurt his feelings... he's just cute sometimes since he's a kid at heart.

"Stu invited me to the wedding a few days ago. What are you doing here?"

"Same thing. Except I'm the maid-of-honor here..."

"Wow! That's awesome. It's kind of funny since Ryan is the best man!"

My eyes widened in shock... "Wait a minute... Ryan's here?... as the best man?"

"Of course! Why do you ask? Did something happen between you two?"

Clearly Alan has no brain, which makes him adorable, but irritating sometimes. "Don't you recall, I called and told you we broke up."

"OH NO! I'm so sorry! Why did this happen! How could you two break up?! You two were perfect! You were like Romeo and Juliet! Except they died and you two looked like you could live- blah-blah-blah-" He kept going on and on as he cried into my shoulder...

….Great... Ryan's here, and now Thailand sucks... I need a drink...

**I was supposed to include the dinner scene for Stu and Lauren, but felt like this is enough.**

**Hope you enjoyed it again.**

**Also like to add that not only the song was meant for Ryan to try to get over the break up again, but also for Avenged Sevenfold as well, for the song was meant for their drummer Jimmy Sullivan, aka "The Rev".**

**Anyways, reviews would be nice. Enjoy your day.**

**P.S. Residentkilla, and Mandalore the Freedom... the winner of the bet will be revealed in the next chapter (grins evily...)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Now's the chapter you all have wanted. The first time in over 3 months, Ryan and Penny reunite... and who will win the 10 dollar bet?**

**I'll show it to you... right now.**

**Oh and by the way Residentkilla, the reason why Ryan listens to A7X, is cause YOU CAN'T STOP ME AND RYAN (hey, two Ryan's!) FROM LISTENING TO AVENGED SEVENFOLD! HAIL TO A7X! THEY ARE THE FUCKING KINGS!...**

…**..**

…**..**

…**..**

…**..**

…**..Onto the chapter shall we?...**

**Chapter 4: Mixed Drinks.**

**Ryan's POV**

I looked at her with pure hatred, as she stared at me back with hatred in her eyes... God I want to smack this bitch so hard that it'll knock her beautiful face clean off... wait... did I just say beautiful?... oh fuck me. God I miss her but I hate her so much at the same time.

Phil leaned next to me and whispered, "Why don't you just drink and watch Teddy play?" Phil asked, trying to get my attention off of Penny... Oh right! Teddy. Stu's soon to be brother... so I glanced at Teddy, who was playing the cello or whatever it was called... then looked back at Penny with hatred again.

God already my time here is ruined, all because Lauren and Stu had to invite her... and when we finally first spoke in over three months...

* * *

**About 1 hour ago before dinner began, I was at the bar again, drinking down my sorrows, trying to erase the memories and see if it really wasn't her... **

…**.and to my horror, she was here.**

**She was standing in front of me, drinking as well. Our eyes connected and instantly, we both sprayed each other in champagne with shock in our eyes. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" I cried out.**

"**Me? What the hell are you doing here?" She replied.**

"**I was invited to be Stu's best man!**

"**Well I'm here cause I'm Lauren's Maid of honor!"**

"**Well this is a fucking nightmare."**

"**Your a fucking nightmare!"**

"**Your a bitch! You know that?"**

"**Your an asshole who doesn't give a damn about somebody he loves!"**

"**I loved you everyday for Christ's sake! You just didn't want me around my friends!"**

"**I like your friends! Especially Stu! You just kept bringing Alan everywhere we went!"**

"**He had nobody else! He needed friends!"**

"**Don't you understand we never got to be alone?! Everytime, it was you, me, and Alan! Here and there! Everywhere! Don't you see that?!"**

"**I saw it perfectly. It was called being a good friend... plus, you destroyed everything by asking me to choose... oh, and by the way, I choose Alan." Her face suddenly went to pain and suffering... good. I'm glad she's suffering, just like I had to for three months. So I turned around, but decided to toss something at her after she threw something at me before she left. I took a drink of my champagne, then spat it out at her dress.**

**She jumped back as people gasped over my actions. Oh fuck them. This was between us. They didn't need to see this. So as I look at her pained expression, I turned around to see Alan climbing a tree to retrieve one of those cool lights.**

"**Alan! Don't touch that!" I called out running to him.**

* * *

God I wish Stu and Lauren didn't invite her... still I can be happy. I'm not with her anymore. So that means I can do whatever the fuck I want. I pull out a piece of paper and show her what I written on it, 'Oh I'm sorry, did I stain your lovely dress?'

Instantly, she puts her thumb in her mouth, blows on it like she's inflating a balloon, but instead she "inflates" her middle finger, flipping me off.

I put my hand next to my left and pretend to whirl it, then slowly lift my middle finger and flip her off.

Trying to avoid a scene, her face glows bright red in anger... HA! I win this round.

I turn back, smiling for once, to see Teddy has finished playing, and despite most of my time was torturing Penny, I still heard the wonderful music he played. He stood, bowed as we clapped our hands.

"All right! Thank you, Teddy! The hands of a brilliant musician! And one day, a great surgeon." Said Lauren's dad, once again, giving all his love towards Teddy instead of using it for Stu.

"Jesus her dad loves Teddy to death." Said Alan.

"Well he does play well." I said.

"Really? I thought it sucked." **"!"**

Oh for God's sake. Once again, another slap to his head, just as Teddy joins us.

So Lauren's dad prepares to do congratulate Stu and Lauren, and I felt so happy that he's going to finally say something nice! Stu will finally get the respect he deserves!

"I admit it... When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold. He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination. He was missing the spark you look for in a man." He said.

What the fuck is he doing? Insulting him?

"But then I looked into Stu's eyes. It reminded me of my sweet brother, Chai Yo. For those who do not know, Chai Yo is learning disabled and lives in a group home."

Alan quickly laughs... and once again, I slap his head. Okay, is Lauren's father really going to be a dick again?

"But Chai Yo loves "khao". And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao"." "The hell... what is "khao"?" I asked. ""Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water. It has no taste. We feed it to small baby and uh, very old people. It is nourishment that everyone can digest. The world needs "khao", just as the world needs people like Stu." My jaw dropped instantly... what the fuck is his problem with Stu?! "To my sweet daughter and Stu! Congratulations! Cheers!"

It was only a small clap for his speech... that motherfucking two ball son of a bitch of an asshole of a father!... who is not worse than Penny though... Still, Stu was a good man. Sure he was chained by a bitch and screamed like a pussy, but still, he grown a set and manned up, and became a true man! So as his best man, I had to do something for him...

**Penny's POV **

My ex-boyfriend rose from his spot and said, "Well, that was very... unpleasant. So Stu, I'll give you a "proper" congrats." I had to get back at him for everything he's caused. It wasn't earlier, not even on my dress, it can be washed, but for everything he did three months ago. I wanted to stay with this man and love him for the rest of my life, and while I loved Alan, I hated that he was with us all the time. I wanted alone time. It's what every couple gets, but not us!... I just wanted our time to be romantic like all those fairy tales my mom and dad use to read to me when I was young, but thanks to Ryan, he ruined it all! He had to pay for what he did.

So I slipped some paper out of my pocket and quickly used some of my lipstick to write on it. I smirked as I slipped it under the table and gave it to Alan. He quickly saw it and his eyes widened. I mouthed to him, "Yup", as he somewhat smiled and grabbed his glass, then took it under the table, just as Ryan begins.

"Stu, you've been my best pal for over five years, and when I first met ya, I had doubts about ya. You were whinny, a sissy, a baby... a crybaby as well." He said.

"Ha!" Both Phil and Alan laughed, while Stu looked uncomfortable.

"But, when you finally found Lauren, you evolved into a well-mannered, kind, honest, and most of all, a respectable man."

"I disagree with that one." Lauren's father interrupted, much to everyone's shock, hell, even I was shocked. "Stu may look like a man, but I do not see these... "false" qualities that you claim he has." He said to Ryan.

"Okay, first off, don't interrupt me! I'm trying to say something nice about my best friend here, unlike you!" He said while I look at Alan still trying to "freshen" Ryan's drink.

"What? I speak the truth. Stu is not a man! I don't even think he has a pair. He probably has a mangina!"

The crowd gasps over his offensive words.

"You know what pal? You should be kind to Stu, especially for your daughter since she's getting married! And all you doing is making them miserable!"

"Stu is nothing but miserable. It spells on his face! Like you and your cut hair!"

"This is called erasing the painful memories first off!" Then he turns and says, "Fuck you by the way." To me, once again, making me so pissed off at him, while he turns back and tells Lauren's dad, "And two, all you give a damn about is Teddy and not care about your daughter's wedding!"

"My boy has nothing to do with this. And what is there to care about Stu?!"

"How about I come over there and make you praise by kicking your Asian ass!"

The crowd gasp grows louder, to the point all of Thailand can hear it.

"You come and try, and I'll rip your manhood off and make you like Stu, American piece of shit!"

"THAT'S IT!"

But before he could try, both Doug and Phil restrain him and shove him back down in his chair, as everyone tries to forget what the fuck just happened. Stu and Lauren however, are very embarrassed by what's going on... oh poor Lauren... and Stu... why can't her father be nice to Stu? For once Ryan is right. He only cares about Teddy!

While those two assholes try to calm down, Alan's eyes widened and took some breaths, then his face grunted and soon enough, he slipped the nice mixture into Ryan's drink.

"And now I believe that Teddy has something to say."

Just as the young kid can stand, Alan shoves him back down, saying, "Sit down! I got this. Sit down, boy!" **"!"**

"That was a... a great speech, Ryan, and Mr. Lauren's Dad! I like the comparison between Stu and rice. And you put on a great show Ryan!... so I've also prepared a few words." Oh God Alan, please be better than Ryan and Lauren's dad.

"Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts. The population in Thailand is 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand..." Oh God... what did the Russians do to his brain?

"Alan! Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy?" Doug asked.

"Okay. Sorry!... none of you know Stu like I do. Not you... not you... not you... Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one! I can't even tell you what we've been through cause we made a pact. More important than blood." Oh that "Wolfpack" he and Ryan use to talk about all the time... how they nearly got screwed in Vegas two years ago...

"What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage."

Quickly Phil and Ryan's faces quickly looked horrified... Oh no... Alan please don't say it! "There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago." Quickly Phil and Ryan stood, and patted him on the shoulders, telling him to, "Sit down... that's enough." They said quietly.

"Was that awesome?" Alan asked.

"Yeah, it was phenomenal." Said Phil.

"In your face!" Alan said to Teddy... who I don't understand why he's been so negative to him all this time...

Quickly Ryan stood and said "To Stu and- oh shit." He muttered as he forgot his drink with the added white juice. "To Stu and Lauren!" And then he gulped some of it down... as I smiled in victory.

The moment he swallowed, his eyes bulged, and his throat tightened. Well Ryan, looks like I win this round.

* * *

**Ryan's POV**

After drinking whatever the fuck that was at dinner, Phil and I had to get some of the stress off us, mostly with us not having a bachelor party and the whole dinner incident, so we came up with having a bonfire on the beach. We went to the manager and asked if we could set one up, and thankfully he accepted as long as we clean up after ourselves.

So we decided to help Stu relieve of his stress after what happened by inviting him to the bonfire.

"Well that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be." We heard him talking to Lauren as they prepared to go up the elevator.

"Sorry..." Lauren said to him as the couple wrap their arms around each other and kiss.

"Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing?" Phil asked. Okay that was funny.

"HaHa. Very funny!" Stu laughed with sarcasm. Same old Stu.

"Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight." I said elbowing Phil in the arm.

"Get over it! He's your father in law. He's supposed to hate you. Come have a drink with me and the guys." He offered.

Stu had the look showing he was very reluctant to come with us. He must still be supersticious over Vegas. "You know... I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash." He said. I could understand him. He wants to be with his love, but come on! We want to have fun!

"C'mon, I just spoke with the manager. He's gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach." Said Phil.

"That sounds fun!" Said Lauren, actually trying to help us on this one.

"Nah... I'm good." Said Stu. Oh he's desperate. "Oh, he's tired!" I said mocking him.

"Stu, one drink with your friends who came all this way." Lauren continued.

"I just wanna hang out with you!" Very sweet Stu, but please! Do something for us! I beg of you! The fucking brunch at IHOP was a disaster!

"Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor. Take Teddy with you. He never gets to have any fun."

"That is a great idea. Bring the kid!" I said. It would be nice to have Teddy join us.

"Alright. One drink!" YES STU! Finally! Stops being such a wimp! You finally earned your set! And to think Lauren's dad doesn't think he has one. That old prick doesn't even have the balls to face me!

"Perfect." Said Phil.

"See you later." Stu said kissing Lauren. "Have fun!" She replied back. "You have the key?" "Yep, got it right here!" "I'll see you in 20 minutes!" And we took off to the beach to have our fun.

* * *

**Teddy's POV**

This was fun. Sitting down, hanging out with some friends and weirdo's, well, just Alan, at a fire and enjoying the night... I wish my dad could let me do this so much, but he's always on my case. He says my medical schooling and music is important, so there's no time for fun... well guess what dad?! I'm out here having fun with my soon to be brother-in-law, and his best pals! Take that!... and the fun is somewhat taken away by grizzly adams next words, "My uncle Roger said that he once saw an albino polar bear." He said.

Stu looked at Alan with confusion. "Really? Polar bears are white. How would he know if it's an albino?"

There was silence... then, "This one was black."

"Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear?"

"Whatever..." Alan said.

I looked at Ryan and saw that he was trying to cough something out. "You okay there Ry?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, just something in that champagne earlier... didn't taste well..." He said.

"Did you like the taste Ryan?" Alan asked.

"What?"

"I said, you liked the taste of it?"

"No Alan! I told you it didn't taste well!"

"Well that's a shame... well at least Penny was happy you tried new things..."

This brought confusion to Ryan's face. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked.

"Oh, well Penny told me you wanted to taste my sperm, so I jerked off into your glass and got jizz in there." He said with a happy smile.

Quickly, Ryan ran straight for the bushes, then he let out a loud "BLEH!" and heard so much puke going into the bushes.

"Alan, did Penny ask you to put sperm into his drink?" Doug asked.

"Yup. She said Ryan wanted it." Alan answered.

"Oh God..." Stu moaned.

Then Phil arrives with a six bottles of... "Ok. Here we go. American beer." He said. Ryan returns with a screwed up expression on his face.

"When I find that bitch, I'm gonna kill her! And you Alan! Don't touch me right now!" He yelled.

"Look, Ryan, calm down and have a beer. And look. Sealed bottle Stu! So no one can drug you!" Said Doug.

"Thank you. Alright!" Stu said sounding very happy.

"I'm not really old enough to drink." I said, since I'm only 16.

"Yeah, it's illegal. Would be a shame if somebody reported you." Said Alan. **"!"... (Does this one count?)**

"Nobody's reporting anybody. It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun." Said Stu, handing me a bottle... oh well, one drink ain't gonna kill me is it?

So Stu sits back down, only for Alan to cry out, "Careful!" Stu jumped and reached underneath him to find... "What is this? Instant marshmallows? Nice touch!"

"That was Alan's idea." Said Ryan, still whipping his tongue. "Good thinking, Al!" Said Doug.

"You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu! This place is paradise." Said Phil.

"Not bad, right?" Stu asked.

"And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you. I mean, Lauren is an angel."

"Yeah, she really is amazing." Said Ryan.

"Wow, you guys are sweet." Stu thanked them.

"Not big breasts on her. But still, solid rack for an Asian. Sorry, Teddy, but it's true." Phil complimented.

"That's ok." I said. It was fun to joke about my sis a few times here and then...

"That is just wildly inappropriate. And yet... I'm really glad you're here. All you guys. Even you Alan. It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you." Said Stu, surprised himself that even thanked Alan.

"Wouldn't have missed it buddy." Said Alan, sounding very happy for his friend. "Great! Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?" Phil asked.

"Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys." Said Doug. And we all stood and prepared to raise our bottles.

"Come over here, Alan!" Said Stu.

"To Lauren and Stu! You did it, buddy." Said Ryan.

"Sure did." Stu replied.

"Cheers!" And we raised and clinked our bottles and chugged down our beers.

**Man this one kicked my ass.**

**Still, hope it was all worth it.**

**Now Residentkilla, pay Mandalore ten bucks. You agreed on it, and he won.**

**Review please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**And this is what you've all been waiting for.**

**For the screaming Bradley Cooper fans, here's the chapter where it's Phil's POV. Though it's nothing special.**

**Enjoy.**

**I don't own (God I fucking hate disclaimers) Hangover Part II or the characters. Just Ryan and Penny.**

**Chapter 5: Not again.**

**Phil's POV**

The sun was too fucking bright... and my back hurts... and my head hurts... and I feel like shit... and why was my bed so hard... wait a second... I'm not on a bed with Stephanie... I'm on the floor. I open my eyes to see that I'm not in my room either... "What the hell...?" I muttered, as I try to stand, but I'm in so much goddamn pain right now...

I look at myself to see I'm still in my clothes from last night, and spotted my shades next to my legs, so I put them on to get the damn sun out of my eyes.

I walked up to the window and tried to figure out where I'm at... this place looks like shit. The room was a mess, the floors and walls were cracked, there was cockroaches scattering around, hell, I even see a... shit on a floor... there's a shit on the floor...

Oh man...it happened again... I don't know where I'm at, and I'm sure Stu, Ryan, and Alan don't... wait... where are they?

My questions were quickly answered as something crashed on the floor. I turned to see Alan, still wearing that goofy dog shirt of his, rose from his spot and walked over to me...

...and it took me a minute to realize that his head is bald. Almost like Ryan's, but he still has hair, but Alan's was gone, except for his Grizzly Adam's beard

"Phil... I think it happened again." He whispered. Okay, since I don't know what the fuck is going on, Alan probably drugged us again. But I had to make sure.

"Alan, what the fuck did you do?" I asked harshly.

"I didn't do anything. I swear to God." Okay. If you swear you didn't, then your off the hook... and that's when I mention to him.

"Your hair is gone." He rubs his overgrown beard. Dumbass. "No, no... up." That's when he rubs the top of his head, then giggles and smiles. "Where the fuck are we?"

"Phil, I'm scared." Alan said, sounding very nervous.

"Ugh... I hate monday mornings..." Both Alan and I turned around to see the bottom bunk was big and covered in piles of blankets, which meant...

"Alan, there's someone in the bed!" I told him.

"It's not the boogeyman is it?" He asked...what?

"What? No you idiot! I mean, let's take a look quick."

"Well what if it is the boogeyman?"

"Just shut up and follow my lead!"

Slowly me and Alan walked over to the bed and carefully pulled on the blanket close to us. Just in case, I grabbed a broken table leg to strike whoever the fuck was in this bed, only if I have to defend myself.

To my relief, when we completely took the first one off, it was Ryan... and... he was naked.

"Oh shit!" I yelped as I backed off, not wanting to see my best pal's dick by mistake.

Alan on the other hand, quickly sat next to him and rubbed his back... which looked fucking creepy, perverted, gay, and disgusting.

"No mommy, I don't want to get out of... oh wait, I fucking hate you, you almost ruined my life and tried to kill me. No daddy! Please I love you, don't wake me up! It's sunday!"

"Does he do that in bed?" I asked.

"Not really, unless he drinks a lot. Whenever he wakes up after drinking too much, he mumbles quite a lot. Just last week he was mumbling about how much he hates his brother."

"Wait? Alan. Are you spying on Ryan in his sleep?"

"Of course. Just like how you wake up in the morning grouping Stephanie's breast." I just stare at Alan, horrified of the revelation. So that's what was hitting my window for the last few weeks... what the fuck are you doing Alan? Spying on me just like Ryan?

"Daddy! I'm smarter than everyone else! Let me stay home!"

"No sweetie. You're in a strange place right now." Alan said to Ryan. Was he trying to act like his father?

Slowly Ryan opens his eyes and smiles. "Hey Alan... my P.I.C... partner in crime..." He smiled and went back to sleep... before he opens his eyes and flips the fuck out. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ALAN?!" He yelled as he covered himself.

"Just waking you up. That's all." He said.

"Alan! I'm butt-fucking-naked! Back off!"

"Sure. Sure." Alan finally got off of Ryan, who then quickly searched for his clothes. I quickly went over and saw his clothes out of reach, so I handed him his dark jeans, socks, shoes, and... damn this kid is a fan of Avenged Sevenfold. I grabbed his A7X with the Nightmare cover on it, and handed it to him.

"Thanks Phil." He said.

"No problem kid." I replied while looking away, so I could give him some privacy. But everything went downhil when he suddenly cried.

"What the fu- OW!" He yelped again, causing me and Alan to look at him. To my surprise and horror, there was a crudely made cast on his right leg. From the foot, all the way close to his hip. "What the hell happened to my leg?! Alan! What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything Ryan! I swear to God I didn't!" Alan cried frantically, looking upset seeing his friend having a cast. Hell, I was upset to see Ryan like this. First he loses that bitch Penny, then he comes here to relax, but Penny shows up and ruins it, and now he's got a broken leg or something on his leg.

"Okay, calm down... just help me get my boxers, and my pants... is that a shit over there?" Ryan asked.

"Oh lookie guys! There's poop on the ground! Ha-ha!" Alan just said coming out of nowhere.

"Your head is bald."

"I know. It's just like yours!"

"No. I still have hair. Just very, very, very short. Unlike you."

After a while, Ryan finally had his clothes on, but still had that cast on his leg, which means he can't step on his right foot. I looked around and saw a walking stick. Maybe that'll help. I grabbed it and tossed it to him. "Here. Take that." I said.

He catches it and begins to work with it... now... where the fuck is Stu?

"Uuuggghhhhhh..."

We all turned to the bunk bed again... holy shit. There was something else under the bed.

"Now what?" Ryan asked as if he didn't care, then moved the blankets... only to stumble backwards and fall. "Ow! Oh shit! No! No! NO! Fuck me!"

Okay. Kid is scaring me. So I took a look and... holy shit...

"What's the matter guys?" Alan asked.

"Penny is right there." I told him before I helped Ryan back up.

"Oh God no." He said hovering over her, then peaked under the blanket. "Dammit! I am so screwed!"

"Ryan, just relax."

"Phil! That's my ex-girlfriend right there that I hate so much, and she's fucking naked! And I woke up naked next to her! You know what that means?"

"You guys were playing patty cake?" Alan guessed.

We both looked at him with odd expressions. "No Alan! They had sex! That's what happened!" I told him.

"Oh well that's sweet then."

"Oh keep your mouths shut... I want to sleep..." Penny mumbled in her sleep.

"Oh for God's sake. Penny, wake up. We have a problem." I told her.

"Fuck you Phil... Phil?" Her eyes suddenly shot open, then let out the most painfully glass shattering scream I've ever heard.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHY DID YOU KIDNAP ME?! WHY IS MY EX OF AN ASSHOLE OF A BOYFRIEND HERE?! AND WHY..." She then came to a realization... she looked down and her breasts where hanging out. "SHIT!" She screamed while covering herself back up... the looked back in there again... "Oh God... wait a minute... rape..."

"What?" We asked.

"This is a rape... that's what raping is! Your raper's! You raped me! That's a rape! RAPE!"

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN WILL YOU!" I cried out, which made the bitch finally stop. "We didn't rape you! Now first off, do you remember anything last night?"

"Yeah, this dick right here!" She said pointing to Ryan. "For some reason came into my room last night, holding a beer bottle and a marshmallow... and that's all I remember."

"What? I did that?" Ryan asked.

"Who else dumbass?"

"Then you got drugged somehow. Then we all must of did something that somehow got us here... wherever the fuck we're at."

"UUUUGGGGHHHH!"

"That's Stu. You, get dressed." I told her as we walked into the bathroom, a rather shitty bathroom, and found Stu sleeping in the bathtub. "Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation." He moaned once again, as he rose from the tub and- "Oh, holy shit!" We all clamped our mouths shut. There was a freaking tattoo of Mike Tyson's tattoo on his head.

"Where are we? Oh my god, Alan. Your head!" He said. "No your head!" Alan countered. "Is he bald?... Oh my God! Ryan! Your leg!"

"I'll be fine Stu. But you're gonna freak out on this one, but it's gonna be ok." He said.

"Why? Was it my teeth?"

"Nope, it's not your teeth."

I told him. Are you sure? Can you see the bottom?" He hopped out of the tub to check his teeth in the mirror, but when he saw himself, that's when he started to panick. "Oh my God!" He touches the ink on his face, which causes him to flinch. "What the fu...ck! Ow!" He lowered his head into the sink and tries to wash it off... dumbass.

"That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off." I snickered, as does Ryan and Alan.

"It's not coming off. THIS IS A REAL, TATTOO!" Stu screamed, horrified, before he gives Alan a murderous look. "ALAN! WHAT DID YOU DO?! DID YOU ROOFIE ME?!"

"I didn't do anything!" Alan answered, sounding scared over Stu's threat.

"Stu, he swore to god!" I told him, which made him somewhat relaxed.

"What happened?" Penny asked, wearing a cute pink tank top and dark jeans... until a monkey comes crashing onto her shoulders, which made us freak out. "Get it off of me! GET IT OFF OF ME!" She screamed as the monkey pulled on her hair before leaping up into the ceiling.

"What the hell?!" Ryan cried out.

"It's a monkey! OH! What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey." Alan said happily as he reaches up and tries to touch the monkey, but it slaps his hand away.

"Alan..." I told him.

"Butthole!" He cried out, offended. Then the phone rings.

"Phone! Alan, go find the phone!" I ordered as we scrambled around, while Ryan limps to find it... God... poor kid... wonder what he's going through with a hurt leg.

* * *

**Ryan's POV**

How the hell is this happening again? I mean, two years ago, something like that I thought could never happen again... well it could... but WHY NOW?!

The worst part is, this is much worse than the last time. Stu was missing a tooth, and I got a tattoo on me. Now the roles are reversed... sort of. Stu has a tattoo now, and I'm the one with a cast on my leg, and this time Alan's hair is gone! The even WORSE part about this, is Penny's here!... actually... this is not so bad since she got fucked up as well. Ha-ha... "I got it!" Alan cried out, handing the phone to Phil. "Doug, where the hell are you? Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine." He said. Sweet Jesus yes! Thank God. I thought we did it to him again. Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort." Phil continued. "Why aren't we at the resort?" He asked. "I do not know, man! We woke up in some shit hole room in some city... I don't know, Doug! Fuckin Asia-town... I do not know, I told you." Phil explained to Doug as I looked out the window.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Looks like Chinatown." Said Penny, standing next to me, trying to keep her eyes open.

"You alright?" I asked, even though I don't care about her.

"Fuck no. Don't you realize that?"

"Sorry, just being polite since we're alone FOR ONCE!"

"You are such an asshole!"

"You're an asshole!"

"Both of you! Shut the fuck up! We don't have time for this shit!" Phil snapped, forcing us to shut our mouths. "Sorry Doug. Penny's with us... I don't know how, but she is... I don't get it man. We each had one beer last night, right? I mean you too!..."

"Is that a shit?" Penny asked, pointing the shit in the corner.

"Eh... yeah... oh man my leg hurts..." I muttered

"Jesus, someone screwed with your leg."

"I hope not. If it was you, I'm gonna shave all of your hair off. Make you look like Alan."

"Look, let's just try not to kill each other over this. Okay?"

"Fine."

"Teddy? What? What are you talking about?" Phil continued, which caught our attention. What about Teddy? "Teddy went to Stanford, right?" Phil pulled something out of a bucket of water that had some ice in it, but it was just about gone. Suddenly, he drops the thing down on the ground... and it had a ring on it... wait... that ring... it was on Teddy when he and I met at the airport... and what's around that ring is... HOLY SHIT!

"Fuck! I just found his finger! Phil exclaimed, then went back to the phone to yell at Doug, "I just found his fucking finger, Doug!"

"Holy shit! Teddy's dead?! Oh God Stu and Lauren are gonna kill us!" Penny cried.

"Penny, just relax! Okay?... Alright. Alright, alright... this is what we're gonna do. Doug, you tell the girls that we woke up early and went on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are." Said Phil.

"Will they buy that?" I asked.

"You did to Tracy two years ago. It'll work again. You got that Doug?... Okay, thanks. Look, we gotta go, bye." He hangs up the phone and calls to us. "Let's go get the guys and find out what the fuck is going on..."

* * *

Both Phil and Penny are far away from me, as I struggle with the pain in my leg while trying to use this damn stick to help my walking ability. But thankfully the guys weren't that far, as I stumble upon Stu and Alan kneeling down next to another pile of blankets, while Phil and Penny stood. "Uh, we got a little bit of a problem... What is that?" Phil asked, just as I noticed a strange little thing hanging out of the blankets.

"We don't know." Said Stu

"Is it a worm?" Penny asked.

"It's a mushroom." Alan said before he squeezes the little thing, then licks his fingers... yuck. "Yeah, shiitake." He then turns to the monkey and tells it, "Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?"

"He can't understand you..." Said Stu, as the monkey DOES taste it. "Okay, he just did."

"Why is he pulling on it?" I asked.

"He's probably hungry." Said Alan. I turned and looked right at Phil, but suddenly his face comes to realization.

"Wait a second. Is that..." But before he could finish, the the monkey slaps the little thing... sending the entire blankets up into the air, just as a man comes crawling out of the pile.

"What the fuck man?! Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone!"

Wait a second... that voice... that small figure... that... 'ugh!' That creepy naked body... there was only one person I recall with that naked body... and he beat us to shit the last time!

"CHOW?!" I cried out.

**And there! Man this one took some time, but at least it's complete.**

**Let me get this one out of the way: Ryan is NOT! I repeat! Not bald! Yes, some Buzz-cuts do have a bald feature but some are cut to a very, veeerrrryyy short level, and that's were Ryan's is at. So it's close to almost bald. But it's not. Just thought I'd put that out.**

**Review please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back, and ready with another chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**I don't own The Hangover Part II, the whiney baby Stu, every girls favorite Bradley Cooper, or the fat bearded devil. I own Ryan and Penny**

**Chapter 6: You know the drill**

**Ryan's POV**

"CHOW?!" I can't believe that the same Asian asshole who nearly killed us two years ago, was standing in front of us... in only his underwear... which was hanging down below this thighs... "Oh man!" I cried upon realizing that the thing we were looking at, was Chows... UGH!

Alan simply pats my shoulder. "Relax Ryan. It's only Leslie." He said, sounding happy, while I turned to him and saw the same fingers he used to touch Chow's dick was near my face.

"Get those fucking fingers away from me!" I yelled, forcing him to jump back.

"You're fucking crazy." Chow said to me. "It's so fucking light in here! Alan, grab me my sunglasses!" Alan reaches down to grab some shades for Chow, and stands to place it on his face before giving him a hug, not bothered by the fact THAT HE'S FUCKING NAKED!

"It's great to see you, Leslie!" He said.

"Nice to see you too my little popo." Chow replied. Egh! Are they really that close?

"Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?" Phil asked.

"Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to the wedding." Chow answered... wait, what?!

"Excuse me?" Stu shouted to Alan, sounding very furious.

"What, he's my plus one!" Alan said defending his name.

"Alan! You can't invite him to Stu's wedding!" I told him.

"Yes I can." **"!"**

"No you can't Alan! First off, only Stu and Lauren can do that. And second, he's a criminal who threatened to kill Doug back in Vegas!"

"That was a different Doug."

"Same thing!"

"Wait, this is the gay Asian you were talking about?" Penny asked.

"Yes, and Chow, if you want a prostitute, here's one for you." I said pointing to Penny, which made her furious!

"Oh fuck you!"

"Oh I can't have her, I mean, after seeing you two last night, I wouldn't even dare cross between you and her. You two looked so peaceful together." Chow said putting his underwear up (thank God), and puts a jacket on... wait... did he say Penny and I... Oh shit... that's not good. "Oh by the way Alan. You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate."

"Guys, guys. Just focus, ok. Chow, what happened?" Phil asked.

"You guys texted me, said you're fucked up and looking to party. I picked you up on my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok. But we had a sick night, bitches!" Chow laughed as he sat down on the dirty couch.

"Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?" I asked.

"Holler, city of squalor! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Do you know how I got this tattoo?" Stu asked.

"And how I got this cast?" I asked.

"And how did Alan get bald?" Phil asked.

"Uh, first off Stu, from a fucking tattoo guy! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And Phil, Alan, we shaved it off! And Ryan, you should have seen yourself last night! All fucking wild like that party two years ago! The Lone Wolf has reawakened!"

No... no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The wolf is dead. He died in Vegas. I am Ryan. Not the Lone Wolf... oh man, Chow has to be wasted. Just like us!... I hope.

"What's the monkey holding?" Penny asked, as I noticed the same finger that Phil found.

"That's a finger!" Stu pointed out.

"Stu, I got some bad news. Teddy was with us last night. That's his finger." Phil explained, much to Stu's horror.

"Teddy's dead?"

"No. Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Chow interrupted.

"Oh... SHUT UP!" I yelled in his face, which finally made him stop laughing like a heyna. "Anyways, where is Teddy?"

"Don't you remember anything?" Chow asked.

"No, nothing, Chow. It's just like in Vegas. We woke up with no memory of last night." Said Phil.

"Ok I explain it all, ok?"

"Please do, cause I really want to get the fuck out of here." Said Penny.

"Your not the only one." I added, as she glares at me.

Chow quickly pulls out a small box, which contained... oh shit. "Just let me do one bump, get my head straight." He muttered, as he added A LOT of cocaine to his hand. Fuck! We're in so much trouble now! "Come to papa." He snorted it into his nose. "That's a big... You ready for craziest fucking story ever..." Then he stops... face frozen, and eyes widened... as his head falls onto the glass table, shattering it.

"Chow?" I asked.

"Hey Chow, you okay?" Phil asked, as he lowered himself down to check on him. He touches his body to get a response... nothing. "You gotta be kidding me." Phil muttered before checking his pulse... then quickly flips out. "Fuck, he's dead!" All of us, even Penny, were horrified as our faces freeze in pure horror. Stu begins to scream like a baby again. "Help!"

No Stu! You can't do that! "Stu!" I shouted to him, hoping he would stop, but he kept on calling for help. "Help!" He continued as I heard Alan start crying... actually, cry howling like a dog, over the death of Chow. "Stu, shut up!" Phil backed me up, as he tries to restrain Stu.

"Call an ambulance!"

"Shut up! He's dead! Look if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine... We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking lives in a Thai prison." Then he heard Alan's howling cry. "Alan! Please don't cry!" That shuts him up. "Alright. Alright. I just need a second to figure this out." I limped past the group and went for the door, hoping to exit the place to relieve my stress. I turned back to see my friends and Penny look at the dead body of Chow, as Alan continues to howl again. I lowered my head a little, then something caught my eye...

**ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.**

* * *

"Look, this is the worst idea, ever." Stu said, whining as he, Penny, and Phil lifted Chow's body in a wrapped blanket. I wish I could have helped Phil and Stu, but with my leg, that was impossible... though I wish by best bud Alan could help us out!

"What the fuck is this place?" Phil asked.

Alan, who was more interested in his book, said, "Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its population is 12 million people..."

"Alan, put the cards away!" I shouted.

"Its not like your doing anything Ryan!" Said Penny.

"I got a leg that's covered in a cast and it hurts! Cut me some fucking slack!"

"Would you two stop the arguing?! Someone open the elevator!" Said Phil.

"I'll get the button!" Said Alan as he rushes over to get the button. Thank God you're doing something. Then the monkey hops on my shoulders. God I fucking hate monkeys! Their so annoying, thinking their so cute, just so they can steal your stuff.

"What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?" I asked. "Shoo monkey! Shoo!" I told him or her, but the damn monkey just smiles at me.

"That monkey gets it!" Alan laughed.

"Come on!" Penny moaned as the elevator wouldn't open for us.

"Fuck no!" I cried out.

"The powers out. We gotta take the stairs." Said Phil. God. Why did it have to be stairs? It'll take me forever cause of my leg! And damn its still in so much pain right now! So without any choice, we had to walk up the stairs, which took the guys about twenty minutes to make it up the stairs, but it took me about thirty to reach the 15th floor. When I arrived, I saw Phil and Stu struggle to put Chow's body into the ice machine, as Alan tells them, "Feet first. I've done this before."... wait what? Did he just admit that he actually hid a dead body in an ice machine?... what does Alan do when he's is or not on drugs?

The guys continued to struggle, as Alan watched without doing anything, until Penny helps them turn Chow around and plant him feet first into the ice machine... but accidentally hits his head against the opening.

"Shit! Watch where your hitting his head!" Stu quietly shouted.

"He's dead Stu. It's not like we'll miss him anyways. He's a drug lord or something." I said.

"I'll miss him. And he wasn't a lord. He was a king." Said Alan. Good lord... Finally, they cram Chow into the machine, and place a lock on the doors to prevent anyone from finding his body until we're gone. The pain and exhaustion we were going through finally kicked again, and we lowered ourselves onto the ground... until I realized that we still have another problem.

"Stu." I called out.

"What?" He asked. But before I could tell him, Penny already knew and said what I was about to say.

"We still have to find Teddy!" Bitch copied my lines. And we had no idea where to find him... until Stu looks up at us and yells, "The roof!"

* * *

Instantly, Phil and Stu grabbed and held me up so they could help me get to the roof much quicker, while Penny was the first who ran up the stairs towards the roof, while Alan quickly ran up a few steps, only to stop and breathe heavily, "The stairs is too long guys! I can't make it!" He cried.

"Get your fat ass up there you moron!" I yelled I hopped with my friends all the way to the top.

Once we arrive, the doors were already open, with Penny calling out, "TEDDY?! Teddy where are you?!"

"You okay kid?" Stu asked.

"Sure, let me go, find Teddy." I told them as they just drop me without care, sending me crashing into the ground. "OW! What the fuck guys?!" Then Alan arrives, and quickly moves over me, but trips on my bad leg. "OW! Dammit Al!"

"Sorry Ryan! I'll bring you back a butterfinger!" He cried.

"What?! The fuck does that suppose to mean?!" I pulled myself up and used the cane to limp over to the group, who were standing by the edge of the roof.

"I can't believe this happening again!" Stu cried out. Guess they didn't find Teddy yet. FUCK!

"Alan, empty your pockets." Said Phil as he searches through his.

"What?" Penny asked.

"You know the drill, empty your pockets for clues. You too bitch."

"Don't call me a bitch you manwhore."

I finally stand next to the my friends and Penny, and begun to look through my pocket... but all I could find was my cellphone, with three missed calls, two text messages. I scanned through to see two missed calls from Doug, and the other from... Penny? And this was last night... before the bonfire... I shook those thoughts out as I check the text's, which one was from Alan, and the other from Penny... why was she calling and texting me?

"There's nothing here. Dammit!" Phil yelled as Alan pulls out his pager.

"I got something here, from Chow last night." Said Alan.

"What does it say?" Stu asked.

"On my way, homies. Oh, homey, I get it." Alan laughed as we groan in displeasure.

"Alright. Stu, Ryan, here's what you're going to do. Stu, go back to the resort, tell Lauren that we're still partying and we have Teddy with us, while we look around for him. Ryan, go with him so you get your leg fixed." Said Phil.

"No, I'm not leaving Lauren's little brother behind! I'm responsible okay! I have to find him." Stu explained.

"Fine, Ryan, you go back, tell them you got your leg fucked up and that-" But I stopped him.

"No Phil, I'm staying to help. Okay?" I said.

"No, that's not okay! Look at you! Your leg! Who knows what happened to it! And who knows if it'll get infected out here or not!" Stu tried, but I failed to listen.

"Look, we've all been through this before, except you." I pointed to Penny. "But this is much different from the last time. This is a kid we're talking about. Stu, I'm your best man, and I love Lauren and Teddy like you do. I need to help, no matter how hard it'll be for me."

"Ryan, that's not a good idea. You could die out here." Said Penny... did she try to reason with me?

"She's right Ryan, the odds of you dying out here are 100 to 1. Just like Teddy **"!"**" Said Alan. "Wow, thanks for the help buddy!" I said sarcastically.

"Oh no problem. So are you going back?"

"Fuck no! I'm staying. And there's no way your going to stop me... "YOU GOT THAT?!" I roared in their faces, which sends chills down their spines. "Good. Now let's get goi-whoa!" I slipped on a pile of bird crap, and fell onto my back, which sent more pain to my leg. "Ow... this is gonna be, a long day." I moaned as Stu and Alan help me up, while Penny rubs Alan's head. "We're gonna have to get you a hat, so you don't get sunburned or cancer." She said.

"That would be nice." Said Alan. Then that damn monkey jumps on my chest. "Guys check it out. The monkey is back!" Alan pointed, sounding happy to see it again.

"Shoo monkey..." I moaned. Instead, the monkey just bitch slaps me. "Fucking monkey."

**Not what I expected or wanted for this chapter, but it'll do.**

**Rate and review.**


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